Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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