I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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