it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My bed smells like the plague
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
