WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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