He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
