I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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