new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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