Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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