girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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