ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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