Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
