he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You were trust falling into bushes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
