I look better un-naked...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
