i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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