Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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