We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
