doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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