are you still at the devil's house?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
