I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
