he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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