I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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