Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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