so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
