I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize