I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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