That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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