The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
