for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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