How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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