Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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