the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
