Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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