Your tits are I can't wait for
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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