i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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