I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
