Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
