I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
