it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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