I cockslap morals
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
