I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
