my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
