Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?

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  (314): rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places? http://tfl.nu/i464
  Replies (39) Good night (6181) Bad night (664)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice

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  (310): Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice http://tfl.nu/uvj1
  Replies (14) Good night (684) Bad night (3073)
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  (925): View more from California

  I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..

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  (925): I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3ekb
  Replies (18) Good night (5302) Bad night (635)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he wasn't. neither were you.

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  (920): dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss? (1-920): no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom? (920): he wasn't. neither were you. http://tfl.nu/3ltg
  Replies (16) Good night (7054) Bad night (1161)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.

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  (704): they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming. http://tfl.nu/eg1m
  Replies (6) Good night (4101) Bad night (945)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?

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  (801): Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch? http://tfl.nu/p8up
  Replies (12) Good night (5133) Bad night (1393)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick

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  (807): I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick http://tfl.nu/2mmx
  Replies (6) Good night (3648) Bad night (842)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  and she just brought her bike into the shower with her

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  (434): and she just brought her bike into the shower with her http://tfl.nu/c8oh
  Replies (8) Good night (2618) Bad night (1066)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"

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  (+41): She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool" http://tfl.nu/0b6e
  Replies (10) Good night (1533) Bad night (626)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Was he satisfied?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  No, and very vocal about it.

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  (416): I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home (647): Was he satisfied? (416): No, and very vocal about it. http://tfl.nu/h3jb
  Replies (8) Good night (2500) Bad night (771)
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  (805): View more from California

  Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.

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  (805): Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/kjws
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (550)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?

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  (415): Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking? http://tfl.nu/sizi
  Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (713)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower

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  (860): don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower http://tfl.nu/obf2
  Replies (2) Good night (939) Bad night (240)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You suck, She hit so hard.

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  (602): I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice (623): You suck, She hit so hard. http://tfl.nu/fozp
  Replies (0) Good night (300) Bad night (563)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...

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  (517): Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night... http://tfl.nu/6g5l
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (615)

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