Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  D3 body, D1 cock

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  (440): D3 body, D1 cock http://tfl.nu/qla4
  Replies (20) Good night (2690) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.

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  (801): how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up. http://tfl.nu/xh0f
  Replies (18) Good night (986) Bad night (2618)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.

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  (336): i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets. http://tfl.nu/gfq6
  Replies (53) Good night (3835) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.

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  (702): you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/rajr
  Replies (11) Good night (4147) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.

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  (626): We stole a cat. That is all you need to know. http://tfl.nu/xol0
  Replies (14) Good night (3388) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.

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  (604): We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it. http://tfl.nu/rgwr
  Replies (5) Good night (1663) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle

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  (412): I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle http://tfl.nu/d1bx
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.

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  (775): he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me. http://tfl.nu/rwrr
  Replies (37) Good night (3379) Bad night (5277)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"

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  (630): Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later" http://tfl.nu/rgop
  Replies (3) Good night (1948) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.

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  (585): He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota. http://tfl.nu/2rl1
  Replies (4) Good night (909) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.

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  (614): I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/welf
  Replies (8) Good night (763) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.

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  (479): Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after. http://tfl.nu/sigh
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit

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  (561): Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit http://tfl.nu/ek73
  Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

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  (402): I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween. http://tfl.nu/gen2
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.

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  (619): I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you. http://tfl.nu/28jb
  Replies (0) Good night (294) Bad night (708)

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