The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!