So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
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What a dumb baby whore.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.