Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I fell asleep on the toilet again last night... http://tfl.nu/rzc7
  Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"

  (586): View more from Michigan

  and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t" (586): and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps." (586): I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me. http://tfl.nu/cqw0
  Replies (7) Good night (1216) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Did I miss anything?

  (1-914): View more from New York

  A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.

  (914): View more from New York

  so we also did drugs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Did I miss anything? (1-914): A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson. (914): so we also did drugs http://tfl.nu/07bb
  Replies (9) Good night (2642) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked (708): so? (630): then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas http://tfl.nu/17ue
  Replies (18) Good night (4547) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): We took shots in honor of Shark Week. http://tfl.nu/tloc
  Replies (19) Good night (7663) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store http://tfl.nu/eac9
  Replies (10) Good night (7883) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again" http://tfl.nu/ygm1
  Replies (12) Good night (7525) Bad night (1941)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up. http://tfl.nu/js3s
  Replies (14) Good night (5104) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so are you any less fat since you started doing blow? http://tfl.nu/jikm
  Replies (40) Good night (1699) Bad night (5774)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt. http://tfl.nu/r2sr
  Replies (4) Good night (2418) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love? http://tfl.nu/7zb0
  Replies (19) Good night (4363) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook http://tfl.nu/cps5
  Replies (5) Good night (1576) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore http://tfl.nu/weu9
  Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects. http://tfl.nu/f5x4
  Replies (3) Good night (301) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants. http://tfl.nu/tg9t
  Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (239)

Randomize