Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
