once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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