So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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