Already got asked if we're dating
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
