Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
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We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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