dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
