I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
