How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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