OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
