i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
His hands were made for my vagina.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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