You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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