Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
