Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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