i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize