you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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