my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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