Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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