she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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