The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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