I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
