I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
