Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
