good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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