you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
