Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
