Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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