He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
