Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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