shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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