carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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